I wish I could be a better writer...I have so many thoughts running through my head when I start writing these blogs I don't know where to start or what direction to go in. Maybe with time I can get everything out that I want to talk about or maybe not. Since Jon has been gone I don't sleep very much so I have plenty of time at night to write but I just can't seem to focus on just one thing. I would love to just get my feelings out on different subjects like days when my kids make me crazy or days when someone at work makes me angry. I guess I just don't feel passionate about anything enough to have to come home and tell the world about it. I wish I did. Mainly I am angry at the moment I am angry and happy at the moment I am happy and then it all goes away when I have some time to just process the situation and by the time I get home to talk about it, I just don't want to. Or maybe Im afraid of hurting someone elses feelings by venting my opinions. Who knows?

I think I can I think I can

I am feeling proud of myself right now so I have to brag a little bit...I finally learned how to run our snowblower. It took a little yelling and cursing but I managed with the help of my future brother in law to get it started and I got rid of the 6 inches of snow that was in my driveway all by myself. It was awesome. With Jon gone I am learning a lot of things about myself, things that I am able to do with minimal or no help from others. It is nice to know that I can take care of myself and my daughters if need be. I figured out how to change the filters on the furnace all by myself and I learned how shitty it really is to take out the garbage everyday. Im also learning how much I enjoy Jon being here to do the things I don't like to do. LOL.....
Oh yeah I also learned that I should write down my password if I want to keep a blog...Hopefully I will remember it this time.....